A Little Something

I figured tonight I would give a little insight on me since most my blogs so far have not had too much to do with me and my personal interest but more of my own thoughts and ideas.  So here we go!

First off I hate losing and failing at anything I care about or enjoy doing.  I am on of the most passionate people you will meet.  I dont believe half assing something if I truly want it, I dont understand the point.  I love to laugh and have a good time and I hate drama.  I also can be very forward with my thoughts and feelings good or bad.  I dont trust many people and love very few.  I believe love is something shared between 2 people who take the time to understand one another.  And when I say understand one another I mean see where someone has been to where they are now and can still not judge them for what they have done.  I have my own beliefs that I have developed through stupid decisions and lost.  Nothing positive in my life has came without pain or effort.  I dont have a sob story but I dont have a fairy tale and I am to blame for a lot of my own pain.  I am also very stubborn in my ways and this causes me to be blinded to what really is going on or what someone is trying to do for me.  In the end of the day though I just wanna find true happiness and to love what I am doing and who I share it with. Just a little something about me....

The Bully

You continue to hit me

Beat me down!

But you can never keep me down!

You sneak up on me

Play tricks on me

And try to beat me down!

But you can never keep me down!

You want me to hate you

Lash out at you!

As you beat me down! 

But life,

You will never keep me down!

For the Record

So anyone who reads this and may not know me I work at In n Out and have for the past 4 and a half years part time, while going to school and playing ball.  If your pushing 250 or more of unhealthy weight keep and u order an extra large diet thinking your being healthy your an idiot.  If you also order a 3x3 or 4x4 protein style and still think your making a smart choice, maybe you should go play in the freeway!  Last one for the day because their is sooo much more, if you your pushing 250 or more especially females and you order any meal with a shake and animal fry you deserve to maybe have your heart stop once or twice in your life because this goes to show you definitely have no respect for yourself or the life you been given.  Personally I think there should be a law stating you have to pass a physical and it says your in good health to eat fast food because people here are not mature enough to make smart decisions.  Especially when it concerns longevity!!  For instance were the fattest country in the world and we are given details on nutrition facts any where we go, stated by law.  I had two people from england come into my work today asking about if we do have nutrition facts in all our restaurants.  When I said yes they were in shock because their country doesn't have these laid out before them as we do.  Little food for thought.
Sorry my delivery on this one was kinda all over the place, but give me a break I wrote this while sitting naked waiting for my shower water to warm up.  And if your wondering no it couldn't wait because obese people piss me off when they don't even try to help themselves!
Hope you enjoy! =)

Happiness

Life lately has been far from perfect.  My decisions have pushed away some people and has brought me a lot of loneliness.  But for the first time in life I am doing it all for myself and doing it the right way.  I just wish that people could see what I see and feel what I feel.  Maybe then they could understand I am different, that my past is behind me and I am better now because of it and have grown so much from it.  Grant it I am far from perfect and still slip up day to day, but in the end I continue to strive forward.  I continue to fight for a better life, a life that doesn't have me questioning who I chose to share it with.  Who I fall asleep with and wake up next to every morning.  A life where I can go about my day with a smile not pissed off because I hate my job and the people around me.  I simply fight to be happy each and every day, even if it means I have to suffer now and do it all alone.  I just want to be happy...

Fearless

Till this day I lay here in my bed and listen to the rain.
Each drop bringing a moment of escape,
A moment of freedom.
A place where I can be myself,
Free of pain.
A place in time where my world is still,
No fear.

Reasons for Change

The ideas of all these online sites eventually turn to shit.  Its sad but truly is a reflection of us as human beings, including myself.  We never can be happy with the original thoughts and ideas we once had.  There always has to be something wrong or something better we can do.  Always recreating ourselves but then this is when I stop to think... who am I trying to impress?  I feel that yes there is nothing wrong with a bit of self improvement, for I am a man of god and believe we are born sinners and negative thoughts do tend to come easier then those of a softer, sweeter nature.  Constant mending tends to wear on the sole though and this is where I believe that we lose ourselves and our purpose in life.  This is something I am still struggling to grasp, that there is a balance to everything we do; times for focussing and times for escaping.  These struggles though is what keeps us from happiness with life, let alone ourselves!
Sorry about that!  Kinda went off on a tangent, tend to do that time from time! But all I simply was trying to get at is I am unhappy with the changes of online sites so why not create my own! =)